Starting residency feels like I'm learning how to walk. I have to learn people's names, procedures on how to get anything done in the system, how not to have people pissed at me, and, on top of all that, actually practice medicine. It's more than just a little overwhelming. Frankly, after my first call night, I was thinking, "How am I ever going to survive this for FOUR years?" However, after much thinking and talking, I have calmed down and now think that, yes, I can do it.
It's really hard to really explain what residency is like to someone who has never gone through it. Truthfully, I never understood what residency is like until now, and I have only experienced one week of it. I realize now that with the fun of residency (i.e. delivering babies), I also have to do the not-so-fun stuff (i.e. dictating, writing orders constantly, etc).
However, I have to say that however hard it is, I am happy at the hospital I have chosen. They are endlessly nice and are really into teaching me how to become the best doctor I can become. Seriously, people have been so patient in dealing with my slow knot tying or showing me how to find the form to do X. It's hard for me to imagine myself in their position and knowing what they do when they ramble off, "The chances of a patient with X of contracting Y is Z, according to the study written in 1990 by Dr. A at University of B." I don't know how people do it, but they never cease to amaze me in the way that I think, "I want to be that when I grow up." Maybe one day, I will.