All play and little work

I have to say that my life on ambulatory has been really really nice.  I don't have to be in the hospital until 8, which is like a vacation!  And I usually get out by 5, which is like a vacation, times two!  That means that I have time to cook, watch a little bit of Project Runway, season 2 (which I got in a white elephant gift exchange), and sleep - in other words, I get to live a normal life.  I've actually been sleeping a lot more than usual, which is nice and concerning (especially given my hypochondriasis about my lymph node - which is still here, albeit nontender and a little smaller).

 

On another note, I'm continuing my reading trend.  A few months ago, I tried reading Oblivion by David Foster Wallace, but didn't understand half the stories that I read, so got bored. Now, I'm back onto reading a classic (I alternate between modern fiction and literary classics - really, it's whatever I can find at the used book store or bargain rack).  My latest kick is Little Women and I'm liking it much more than I thought I would.  The old-fashioned ways of courtship and such still confuse me (I mean, being asked for my hand in marriage after a smile and professing of undying love?  I think not), but it's a nice escape.

 

Well, no reading for me tonight.  I'm on call - so I guess this month isn't entirely like being on vacation.

 

Evolution, Schmevolution

My dear friend Eric is now wheeling and dealing amongst the big fish and has gone out and published his own book, and gotten a superb article (and even more superb pictures) in Sierra magazine! 

And to imagine, at one point in high school, I used to "edit" his work - ah, the good ole days.

Cabin Fever

Today, I left the house for the first time in 48 hours. Yeah, 48 hours. I'm about to go stir crazy, much like in The Shining (except without the murderous rampage). I went to the clinic I used to work in and got a second opinion on my knee. Good news is that I get to keep my leg. Bad news is that I just have to take it easy, which is tough for a girl who cannot take it easy.

So, to bide my time, I'm honing my Wii skills, watching The West Wing and Big Love on DVD, and reading Sick Puppy by Carl Hiaasen. However, I have to slow my reading down, because English language books are a rare commodity in Vietnam and I only have this and two other books for the next 6 weeks (4 of which will be in India, where I expect I will be doing a lot of reading).

(Image source)

How exciting!

I bought the newest book by Ha Jin today and I'm beyond excited. I think that just proves how much of a dork I am and how little it takes for me to get giddy.

And those of you who haven't heard of him, go find his books. They're amazing. Well, I've only read Waiting but I'm very much looking forward to reading War Trash (recently released in paperback).

another saturday night at home

So boston night life seriously needs a makeover. I went out last night to two totally different clubs and had two totally different experiences.

First, I went out to club cafe, in the South End area of Boston (equivalent to San Francisco's Castro district) with two (gay male) friends. I had never been to a gay bar so this was quite an experience. It was actually very pleasurable and very cool. And I realized that gay men are wonderful. Well, at least the ones that I know. But I have to say that boston's gay male population is significantly different than san francisco's. First of all, my "gay-dar" does not work here. Out of the guys that were there, I would not be able to spot more than just a few of them as gay if they were in the general population. After spending about two hours there, experience gay men in their mating habits (and seeing a friend get up the courage to approach another man), I had enough for one night. So, as the group went off to a club, I decided to join some other people at a bar.

The bar, named Whiskey's, was horrendous. Not only did I have to wait nearly 20 minutes to get in, there was noone there of interest to me. They were all drunken college students and we were crammed in there like sardines. It was terrible. I left after 20 minutes. Then, to aleviate my frustration at the nightlife in Boston, I decided to walk the mile and a half home. It was a nice walk (granted, I had bandages on both my feet because of blisters I got wearing a new pair of shoes earlier in the week).

But as I sit here on a Saturday night with absolutely nothing to do, I wonder if all nightlife just sucks. I mean, it can't, can it? The clubs here are either all college students or full of stuck-up people with money and nice cars - groups that I would rather not associate with often. I want something where I can go, talk to some random person, and them not feel as though I'm picking up on them or that it's strange that some random stranger talking to them in a bar. I find people in Boston to be rather defensive and it's difficult to meet new people.

So, that's my rant for tonight. I'm off to read or something. I just bought Fear of Flying by Erica Jong and I'm excited.

larger ramifications

i've been up to a lot of stuff lately, and none of it having to do with the academic side of being a medical student. rather, i'm trying to get involved and informed in the larger idea of what it means to be a medical student and a prospective medical professional. several things that i have done to sort of explore ways in which i can get involved:

* attended a talk by Sheri Fink, who wrote War Hospital. she graduated from stanford medical school but never did her residency and has since worked in Bosnia, Iraq, and Africa doing medical aid stuff. she talked about the difficulties of doing work abroad, which is salient for myself because of my upcoming trip to vietnam. one of the things that i found most fascinating was her discussion of our responsibilities there. not only as medical professionals, but as members of an international community. we represent out home country but we are guests in another. i think that is forgotten by a lot of physicians who think that they can go to some poor developing country and save a few lives and return to their nice suburban life, telling their neighbors and friends of the poor people that they helped. i don't know if i effectively got my point across, but you know.

* starting a student chapter of physicians for social responsibility with a friend in the public health program. when we were talking about what we wanted to do and what our goals for the club would be, it dawned on me that a lot of my classmates either couldn't care less and/or don't want to know more in order to care more. it's so surprising to me when i came to medical school to find that it was more conservative, more sheltered, and definitely more concerned with their own practice more than their own patients. i don't know if this is everyone's experience, but it has been mine. i'm sure that the people that i am thinking about when i say conservative, sheltered, and concerned with lawsuits and money think that there are too many wackos and lilberals in medical school.

i thought that there had been more things that i had done or attended that made me think of the larger idea of being a physician. oh well. i totally forgot them now. but yeah, i've had to question what i'm doing here in medical school. yeah, i'm getting a great education, supposedly getting smarter and learning, but really, what are my responsibilities after i finish and actually become a doctor?

one of the most memorable moments when it comes to my choice of a medical career was at a conference that i attended during college. then, i was working at a very small non-profit, doing women's health work. i was speaking to another advocate in the field and we were talking about public health and medical careers. i told her that i was considering getting a masters in public health in addition to a medical degree and i asked her if it was worth it getting a medical degree if i will just do public health work. what she said to me, which i will never forget, was "though i hate to admit it, the 'MD' after your name gives you a lot of respect and esteem among people. yeah, you may not actually be talking about medicine, but if they see those two letters, you're automatically 'in.'" it's amazing how titles and degrees, though you may not use the knowledge gained from them, get you places in the world. i'd hate to admit it or even concede to the possibility that i would "use" my medical degree in order to have an "in" with someone, but that's the world we live in. especially in politics, a field that i'm very interested in, that seems to be even more applicable.

so maybe i'm idealistic and optimistic (two charges of which i freely admit i am guilty). does that mean that i'm naive? no way. though i think i will change the world, i am happy with the thought that though it's unlikely i will change the world, it's highly likely that i will change someone's life. i just need to reminded of my idealism every once in awhile, especially where my day-to-day life consists of anatomy textbooks and physiology lectures.

new look

well, not a totally new look, but i added books i'm reading to the sidebar, in case anyone's interested. they're not all too interesting and rather nerdy books if you ask me. another book that i'd like to get on that list is stiff. it came out last year and its subtitle is something like "the lives of dead people." it's basically a book about what happens to us, physically, after we die. i'm fascinated just by the topic itself. i'm looking forward to anatomy next semester, if it's not wildly apparent already.

so, thanksgiving was fun... sorta. laid back. went to a family friend's home for dinner with a classmate and spent the rest of the weekend wasting time and trying to spend as little time working on a paper as possible. i was hoping to have it done by now, but i'm hopeless. utterly hopeless.

who read this blog? i'm just interested. i know that some of my friends read it, but who? email me or leave a comment, just so i know. i don't even know why anyone would read this blog. it's so out there. it's really about nothing and everything at the same time. it's about politics, my lack of social skills, random stuff. it's a tiny peek into my mind. when i say tiny, i mean tiny because for the past few weeks, i've been jumbling up my words so badly when i'm speaking because my mind speeds by at a million miles a minute. for instance, i used the word "hurted" the other day. what has come over me?! ok, now i'm rambling again. back to my feeble attempts at writing a paper.