Saturday, August 28, 2004

young and restless

so i'm bored out of my mind. i'm home on a saturday night with nothing to do. actually, that's wrong. i have lots to do, in terms of schoolwork, but i don't want to do any of it. and if i go out, i would feel guilty. but then again, none of my friends are out as they are all at home studying.

i've become very restless since i've come back to boston. it's either i want to go out and party or just go man-hunting (whereby i just go out to look at men with no intention of actually meeting anyone). but i also want to meet people outside of medical school. don't get me wrong, i love my friends, but then again, i don't really know anyone outside of school.

anyone have any suggestions as to where to meet good people to hang out with? any bars/clubs/music venues that are worth visiting?

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

human pyramid mishap

so i was on top of a human pyramid today. and as i was jumping off, i hurt my ankle. didn't feel so bad then. it feels real bad now. i think i sprained it, but i don't really know what a sprain is or how it's supposed to look or feel.

you may ask, what was i doing on top of a human pyramid? well, today was field day - which means that second year medical students take first year medical students out to do camp-like activities. it's better than it sounds. but yeah. human pyramid. never again.

Sunday, August 22, 2004

in the middle of it all

so, i'm done with my first week of my second year of medical school (got that?) and i'm tired. i'm so tired i don't know how i survived a full year of this. it's really amazing what medical school can do to you. i just finished a poster about my summer experience in vietnam and have a poster presentation tomorrow afternoon. i just moved into a new apartment, met a new roommate, etc. and i'm still running around getting as little sleep as possible and wondering why i chose to go to medical school.

maybe it will get better? ha, even in this i can be optimistic. amazing.

Saturday, August 21, 2004

it's pouring men

yeah, i wish. rather, it's just pouring rain. i was walking to the hardware store and a guy, feeling like a smart ass, sticks his head out of a convenience store window and yells, "why are you outside? you should be at home in this weather!" yeah, like i don't have a life that doesn't stop because it's pouring rain, idiot.

sorry, small rant. but yeah, made the mistake of wearing new pants and it's pouring rain. but it's all ok. i got my hardware stuff and i bought two new pairs of shoes.

Monday, August 16, 2004

chinatown, good and bad

so i moved into my new apartment. it's in the middle of chinatown, which is convenient given its central location and that it's so close to school. and i have to admit, it's much much nicer than my last apartment.

however, i discovered one downside of living in chinatown/downtown - people. i can't go to CVS without thinking of who might see me and - god forbid - that i be caught wearing something absolutely horrendous. yeah, something totally trivial, i know, but hey, there has to be a downside to everything.

something not so trivial did happen to me as i was walking to cvs (i call it my second home because i'm there so often). an older, white man, about 50 or so, looked at me and said, "you're one fine chinese woman. why don't you speak American? you're in America after all." there were so many things wrong with his statement. first, i'm not chinese. second, i was not saying a word, hence his assessment of my "American" was totally uncalled for. third, he was in CHINATOWN. i was so shocked by what he said that i just walked on by without saying a word in response. what i should have said is... well, i shouldn't have said anything and beat him to a pulp instead. not that i would ever do that, but that's what he truly deserved.

i don't know whether it's me or because it's boston, but i've had a significant number of events happen to me, none of which were positive, surrounding my race. and it's not because i'm "more aware" of those issues or whatever. either way, it's not a good thing and i really don't know how to deal with it. of course, i can't change the view of all bostonians, but here are some things that i would like to change if i could (all coming from experience):
1. Asian people are not to be referred to as "oriental." oriental refers to rugs,
not people.
2. please do not speak an Asian language because you assume:
a. that the person you're approaching is of that ethnicity
b. that the person you're approaching speaks that language
c. that the person you're approaching is going to be the least bit impressed
d. that the person you're approaching does not speak English
or doesn't speak it well
3. do not make assumptions about other people's language skills based on
the color of their skin (see 2d above)

my tidbits of advice, coming from (unfortunately) many bad experiences. take it as you may.

Friday, August 13, 2004

back in boston

so for the past few days, i've been frantically trying to put together an apartment in my mind and doing random other stuff in preparation for school. meanwhile, i still have my public health paper from this summer to finish writing, an apartment to furnish, financial aid stuff to complete, and still manage to be the put-together kind of gal that i am.

but i have to admit, it's great to be back. to be in my own apartment. where i can make my own mess (and trust me, i have exceeded all expectations in this). and where i can swelter in the heat of a boston summer.

Monday, August 9, 2004

back in the states

so i'm officially back in the united states. it feels great and terrible at the same time. great in that i feel in place and that i feel good. terrible in that i have so much crap to do between now and the first day of school that i feel very overwhelmed.

but nothing really to post about. i'm back and ready for action, is all.

Monday, August 2, 2004

ironic liberties

so, i've gotten into the habit of switching between bbc news and cnn in the mornings. today, all they could talk about was: the new orange alert for financial institutions, the statue of liberty opening up for the first time since september 11, and the church bombings in iraq.

for those of you who are unaware, i dislike bush. i wouldn't really say hate because it's such a strong word, but it's as close to hate as you can get without saying it. in terms of my political leanings, i'm close to being bleeding heart liberal. on most issues, i can see and will listen to logical arguments on both sides. however, there are two issues on which i cannot ever compromise my opinion: a woman's right to choose and civil liberties. these two things are the ones that i feel bush has attacked most in his term as president. the first, he has attacked on numerous accounts, especially in terms of foreign aid. on the second, he claims to have preserved while making sneaky moves behind the scenes to deny some people the liberties that all deserve.

it's ironic that on the day before the statue of liberty is opening up to the public again that tom ridge steps up to the podium to say that we are now orange instead of perpetually yellow. it's ironic that as we say we are fighting for the liberties and freedom of the iraqis, liberties and freedoms of americans are being taken away. it's ironic that a president that was never properly elected is trying to establish a legitimate democracy in afghanistan and iraq. it's ironic that bush did not seek international approval when engaging in war but now seeks it to legitimize iraq's new government.

after watching the democratic national convention (see my other blog for details on that adventure), i am sincerely keeping my fingers cross that kerry and edwards has what it takes. just a few more months.

Sunday, August 1, 2004

asian american empowerment

i was listening to internet radio and came upon the song, "learn chinese" by jin. i had no idea who jin was or what the song was about, but i was fascinated enough to google him. with that, i came across a very interesting web site on "asian american empowerment."

as an asian american and one that some would argue is very "whitewashed" (a word that someone has used to describe me, to my face), i'm fascinated by asians in america. navigating around the web site, i came across the "dating" section. ALL of the articles in this section were on interracial dating. i don't know whether or not i should be surprised by this, but i was nonetheless. is it that a web site on asian american empowerment has nothing to say about asian american dating other than in relation to non-asians?

i have always been very tolerant of interracial dating and all of my relationships have been interracial. however, i've always been a little conflicted about it. am i, by saying that race doesn't matter in terms of who i date, perpetuating a stereotype when people see me on the street with a non-asian man? i mean, i can say that race doesn't matter, but that doesn't mean that it's true. people will still see asian female and white male. i admit, even when i see an asian female and white male on the street, i have my preconceptions of their relationship.

but i haven't even addressed the arguments over motivations and "asian fetishes." personally, i try and find out if the guy i'm dating has dated anyone else who is asian. if they have only dated asian women, then i assume asian fetish and can't date them. but then, if they haven't, then i wonder why. it's a doubled-edged sword in a way. but i guess someone could turn the same question on me and ask whether i have a "non-asian fetish" as i've never dated an asian man. i must be one of those asian women seeking a higher societal status by dating a non-asian man. no matter what the motivations or what the answers to questions is, couples in interracial relationships will always be doubted, always be judged.

in the end, i guess it doesn't matter what others think. if i am attracted to someone who isn't asian, it's wrong to deny it because of their race. but at the same time, i question myself when i see an asian male and feel as though i should be attracted to him, as though being asian gives him a few bonus points. society's pressures, however much we would like to ignore them, still invade my thoughts and it's hard to separate them from your own views.