Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Why do I do this to myself?

I think medical school is making me sick. Seriously. Since I have started medical school, I have started grinding my teeth at night, get anxiety/panic attacks, get less than 6 hours of sleep a night, eat terribly, and work out to the point that my knees hurt (again!).

I went to work out today, for the first time since last week. I knew it would hurt, so I took lots of Ibuprofen before (I say lots because now I have dosed myself to take the maximum allowed by my body each time). It's really sad. But yet I continue to do it because, ironically, it keeps me sane. It's the one thing in the day that I do for myself and no one else. Otherwise, everything is school related (whether it's academics or extracurricular).

So, my conclusion is that I should drop out of medical school. No, really. Maybe this happens to everyone? I know a lot of my friends are feeling the same thing. Maybe it's just that everyone, up until now, has had it easy going through high school then college. Now, medical school hits you and you realize that it does get hard. Damn it. I want it to be easy again.

And to top it off, I'm paying lots of money for this torture. Why, oh why?

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