"mingling"

i really have to learn how to do that. so, i went out tonight to a friend's party for some of his roommates' birthdays at a bar. it was fun and there were some nice looking guys, but i just don't know how to mingle. how do you do it? i think of how to do it and i think that's what's wrong.

and why don't guys approach me in bars? i don't think i'm intimidating. some of my friends and i were speculating it's because we aren't girly enough. we don't twirl our hair, smack our gym, giggle, or do any of that crap. is that why? i mean, i could play along, but what is it really worth?

and how come med school is just time to figure out who you're going to milk to pay off all your loans? i feel like every time i go out, we're man-hunting. this was never the way it was in undergrad. what's changed? we got older? we feel more maturer? i sincerely doubt the latter, but who knows. maybe finding a secure relationship is part of feeling mature.

either way, it's very surprising how many people are engaged/married/having kids. one of my classmates' wife just had a baby. several are married. several are engaged. it's scary. i never thought that it would be like this, but that's just my naivete showing.

ah wells. i have to go to bed before i realize that it's cold in there and no one else is joining me.