The good, the bad, and the ugly

I delivered twins today! Well, not me personally, but I helped a woman who was delivering twins!

That means that my procrastination is biting me in the ass because I didn't get to work on my presentations today at the hospital, hence I will get few hours of fitful sleep. Oh well. The babies were cute as a button, or two.

Scars from Thanksgiving

So, as I prepared some Thanksgiving dishes, I managed to cut myself twice, chopped off a fingernail with my knife, and get burned twice. To top it off, tonight, I managed to cut two of my fingers, one of which was gushing. I think I will stay out of the kitchen for awhile. That, or throw out my new knife.

Back to Boston

It feels good.

Feminism, redefined.

After reading this article by Maureen O'Dowd, I am convinced that I am a staunch feminist in some respects (I like to use "Ms.", I will keep my name after marriage, I don't mind paying for my own meals, and I hate playing games) and I wonder if that will change if I'm not married with 2.4 children and own a house with a white picket fence within 10 years.

Whiners

Why is it that people from cold climates (i.e. New England) complain so much about the cold. I mean, it's barely below 50 and everyone's complaining about how "freezing" it is outside. Do people forget that we still haven't reached mid-autumn yet? Do they have a collective amnesia every year about zero degree weather and blizzards?

Snow? In October?

Isn't that crazy?! Well, I guess not considering I'm in Maine.

Creatures of Maine

Can you spot the two moose? Or are they mooses? Or meese?

Local businesses

Found on a house, off Route 15 in Maine.

What am I?

Being the token Asian in Maine, I have come to realize that people really are ignorant (and crazy). The only people who have commented on me being the only Asian in Maine (can that become a title?) have been patients.

One, when meeting me for the first time, yelled out (to no one in particular), "Why are there so many Chinks working here?" (Ok, so there is one more Asian person in Maine, who happens to work on the same floor of the hospital.)

Another patient today asks, "Are you Oriental?" to which I respond, "Yes, I am Asian." Then, he began to accuse me of having "Oriental mind reading abilities" and when he began guessing what "kind of Oriental" I am, named Chinese and Japanese and said, "I can't name any more countries."

In summary, I am apparently one too many "Chinks" in the hospital and have recently acquired mind-reading abilities.

"Maine"

What is wrong with just "Maine"? Everything that deals with "Maine" is preceded by "The State of." Why is that? "State of Maine this," "State of Maine that," "State of Maine!"

What happened to plain old "Maine"?

Bubble Rock, Acadia National Park

However precarious this rock looks on the ledge, I wanted to push it off with all my might because my friend and I took the hard way up, climbing up the side of this mountain to get here.

Gnarly tree, Acadia National Park

Sunrise on Cadillac Mountain, Acadia National Park

Maine foliage

Maine-ers

I went for a drive around the wonderful Bangor area this last weekend and realized one thing about Mainers. They like their lawn ornaments. I have seen such a collection of lawn ornaments, it's crazy. I have seen a cow made out of an old gasoline thingy. One lawn even had various farm animals, which looked real at first glance. Another had metal sculptures. I always thought lawn ornaments were things you saw in movies, but alas, I have found the inspiration for the cinema.

And the leaves were wonderful, too.

Again?

Enough said.

Dorm living

I just looked at pictures of my brother's dorm at UCLA and, however much I miss college, I did not miss the dorms. That room was tiny! (Sorry, Tim)

It is just me?

I'm in the middle of my psychiatry rotation and having a grand old time. My first two weeks were rather laid back, with an attending who gave me a lot of teaching, and the patients weren't all too "crazy." Now, I'm with a different attending and different patients and it's altogether weird. My attending, however nice, sort of ignores me. On the upside, I don't have to be in until 9 and out at 3 or 4 (and I think that's because he doesn't know what to do with me). Also, the patients are just weird. Granted, I am at a psychiatric hospital, but I am either ready to bolt out of the room or ready to defend myself. I just don't think I'm built for life in psychiatry.

On the other hand, after my surgery rotation, I am not built for life as a surgeon either. I'm starting to worry if I'm built for life as any kind of doctor. Er.

Nightlife

Last Friday night, a friend and I wanted to grab ice cream from a local ice cream stand. We set out around 9:30 and are disappointed to find it closed (at 9). We then decide to head to the supermarket to get some ice cream and waste some time. As we're joking and laughing in the ice cream aisle, a man comes over and informs us that the store closed 10 minutes ago (it was 10:10 at this time). So, we got kicked out of a grocery store (though they were kind enough to let us buy our ice cream).

What did we do for the rest of the night? Watch trashy Friday night TV, eating ice cream, and drinking wine.

City of Bangor

Now that I have sort of settled into Maine, I have been exploring a little bit. Bangor isn't such a bad town after all and it can be fun at times, if it's before 9PM. I have gone wine tasting at a wine store (where all the wines made me wince). I have gone to a party with other Bangor-ites (where everyone was engaged/married). I have gone to Acadia National Park (I have pictures, if you want to view them, email me).

But alas, this weekend was boring as could be. I had great plans to go to the farmer's market on Saturday and see the famous Bangor Public Library, but the pouring rain made me lazy and I just managed to go to the farmer's market (where I bought an empanada to die for). Today, I was going to take a day-long drive along Northern Maine, to go "leaf-peeping" (aka see the foliage) and hike in Baxter State Park, but the rain has kicked off all the nice leaves and leaves the trails disastrously dangerous. So, now my zeal for Bangor has subsided and I am stuck inside, still in my pajamas, and with nothing to do. I suppose I could study, but that's another problem altogether.

The mighty have fallen

Why, oh why, does it always have to happen like this?

Bangor.

You may ask, where is Bangor? And I could answer, it's somewhere in Maine. Very far into Maine. Very, very far. Ok, maybe not that far, but it does seem far. And, I live in a dorm. With other medical students. This will be interesting.

I'm back!

So, my surgery rotation isn't quite over yet, but I'd just like to announce the return of me! Ah, I know you all have been holding your breaths in wait of my return. But alas, this is a short entry as I still have to study. More will come.

[And, I'd have to say that I'm rather sad that I had to take a sabbatical during this time of great news articles (e.g. Hurricane Katrina, changes at the Supreme Court, some awesome articles on healthcare in America).]

Missing in action

As it turns out, medical school is really hard. Waking up at 4:30, getting home at 6 or 7, and then passing out for the night leaves little time for anything, let alone blogging.

So, here is my notice that I will be posting less frequently until the end of September. After that time, I will hopefully come back to posting more frequently. Until then...

I hope to never see you again

That's what I have to say to patients that I really enjoy taking care of, and it just seems weird. You hope that they never get sick again and that you never see them again. I realized that I chose the wrong business to have "happy return customers." Does that make sense? I feel like I'm not making any sense. It may be the lack of sleep or the exhaustion.

What's going on?

It's been a long while since I have posted and I apologize to my loyal fan for that. But you've got to understand that I've become the laziest person in the world. I work hard at the hospital so when I come home, I don't want to do anything.

Here is my daily schedule: get up at 5 am, at the hospital at 5:30, work until about 5 or 6 pm, come home, eat dinner, watch a little tv, start yawning, fall asleep by 10. Yes, that is my life. My life is compressed into the 3 or so hours between coming home and falling asleep.

I have some insights about medicine and being an almost-doctor. However, I can't think of any of them now. Will post them as they come back to me.

Week 1

I've survived week one of my surgery rotation and am tired. First day, I felt excited. Second day, I was exhausted. Third day, I was bored. Fourth day, I felt like I could do it. Fifth day, I was just excited for the weekend.

Knee surgery, anyone?

I got knee surgery a few days ago and now I'm sitting on my couch, watching daytime TV with my father while my friends are slaving away in the hospital. Do I feel guilty? Just a smidge, perhaps. However, they can walk and I cannot, so I don't feel too guilty.

I'm back

My vacation started with learning that I have a torn medial meniscus in my knee requiring surgery and ended with getting sick on the plane and taking a full day to recover. Now, I am fine and just glad to not be on a plane, bus, car, boat, or any other form of transportation.

Now, what happened in between?

* Tried to get knee surgery in California, unsuccessfully.
* Tried to get to Cancun, unsuccessfully at first. After a full 12 hours of wrangling with Mexicana Air (NEVER fly them), we get a ticket to Cancun.
* Cancun was absolutely horrendous - tropical rainstorm, hot, humid, dirty, nasty hotel food, going to a nightclub with my parents.
* Get sick on the plane getting back to Boston from Oakland.

Really, I don't know if anything went completely right this break, other than being able to see old friends. Now, I think I need a break from my vacation. Good thing I have knee surgery on Wednesday, technically the first day of my surgery rotations.

I need a break from my break

Since coming to California, I have been trying to get knee surgery done. It was supposed to be easy, and I even had a surgery scheduled, but alas, but bad luck grants me a cancelled operation and another three days of headaches. Now, I will have no surgery, somehow walk around in the hospital with a torn medial meniscus for 6 months, grinning and bearing it.

Times, they are changing

I was looking through my brother's high school yearbook today and looked at what student clubs are on campus. They have a high school republican club. Then I turn the page and find a picture of three boys in tight pants and cowboy hats. Really, did I come from this town?!

Gosh, I feel old

I went out last night to grab dinner and dessert with friends and I came home at midnight and just fell asleep. I felt so old. I can't even stay up past midnight. And my body is falling apart on me. Maybe I am old. I mean, I don't even know my real birthday.

It feels good

California feels good. Granted, it's raining here and rather gloomy, but it feels good. It feels like home.

What doesn't feel good is my knee. I found out after I took my boards that I have a torn medial meniscus that needs surgical removal. Yeah, fun. What's even better is that I'm trying to navigate insurance to get my surgery done in California while I'm here because I will be on crutches for 5 days and limping for 3 weeks - time I cannot afford to take off of my 3rd year rotations.

So, I need to come up with $5,000 or convince my evil HMO (I'm convinced all HMOs are evil) to pay for it.

I'm done!

I just can't believe it. I'm actually done with the boards. I came back to my apartment yesterday after the exam and eating a basketful of fried seafood with a friend who took it with me and was just completely exhausted. Physically drained. So now, I'm awake at 6:30 am because that's what time i woke up yesterday and now I can't get back to bed. I guess I should pack. California, here I come!

3 more days

And the panic attack begins...

Where's the music coming from?

I had an MRI today (another story to be told soon) and the technician asked if I wanted to listen to music while in there. I figured why not, so I stepped onto the platform, got situated, put the headphones on, and the music started. Not until after I took the headphones off did I realize that I was still hearing the music and it was loud. The music didn't come from the headphones, as I had thought, but from the room itself. The headphones were just so I don't hear the whirring and clicking of the MRI machine. It made me laugh. The technician thought I was crazy.

My mother's age

There is a time in every woman's life when she realizes that she is her mother's age when her mother had her. For instance, this year, I am 24. My mother had me at 24. I am my mother's age (and my mother would not be happy I'm revealing her age).

Of course, I have no children. I have no husband. No white picket fence. Not even a date on Friday night. Which, for me, is what I want (well, a date on Friday night wouldn't be all that bad). I just imagined my mother, who at 24 was "old", and having her first child. I know that I couldn't do it and I admire her, and my father, for putting up with me as a kid and now.

So, what do I have to show for myself? I have a college degree and working on two graduate degrees at once. I have lived away from home since the age of 17 and love its ups and downs. I have a bright future that, someday, may involve a husband and kids. So, am I really far behind my mother? I don't like to think of it that way - rather I have taken a different path. We all reach the same destination of happiness and personal fulfillment, hopefully. My journey has just taken me 3000 miles away from my home but my mother's journey took her halfway across the globe.

The most beautiful time of day

The hour or so before sunset is beautiful. It's bright outside, not yet cold. It reminds me of neighbors taking strolls before dinner and lighthearted conversations with friends.

You love to hate them

Whatever the craze is about iPods, I just don't get it. Yes, they're quite dandy. Yes, they play music. Yes, they look cool. However, does this mean that you have to walk around listening to music 24 hours a day!? I just don't get it... people just walking around the streets of Boston with headphones on. Does there have to be a song for everything? Is the soundtrack to your life no longer a metaphor?

I just don't get it. And yes, I have an iPod.

A day in the park

Here is a rundown of what I saw today in the park:

* Wiffle ball! Gosh, how much I wanted to play.
* A guy who tried to fly a kite, unsuccessfully, for over an hour. That's a really long time to have a colorful thing attached to a long string swinging after you while you run.
* A group of Spanish-speaking men sing Oasis, accompanied by a guitar.
* A man carrying a huge Cartier bag. Don't they sell jewelry? I mean how big does your purchase have to be for you to be carrying a giant tote?
* A woman find her glasses in the grass - 5 hours after she had left them there.

Really, the park was happening today. Maybe it was because it has been the first non-rainy day since who knows when.

Oh, how I miss you, California

Another reminder of why San Francisco is one of the best places to live is the fact that they have Madeleine Peyroux performing not once, not twice, but three times in one year! Gosh, I miss SFJazz and all it had to offer (I got to see one of Rosemary Clooney's last performances and see Dave Brubeck and his sons perform). For those of you still there, go! (Anyone want to go to Joshua Redman with me?)

Will it ever go away?

My stomach ache is forever here. And it's not a real stomach ache, it's just a feeling in my stomach that it doesn't want food (yet I'm alwayas hungry). I've also got acid reflux. I think I have an ulcer (most likely not). I don't think I've ever been this stressed out in my life. This is what medical school does to you.

Bad drivers? Oh yeah, we've got them

Turns out that my rant about drivers in Massachusetts is not only a rant, it may actually be true that they are among the worst in the country. Add to that the fact that they honk at every possible opportunity and you have a set of drivers that just drives me insane. Well, I'm sure that mechanics and auto repair shops do well here in the great Northeast.

All at once or one at a time?

A light bulb went out in my bathroom today. Now, it's not an emergency or anything, as there were a total of 8 lightbulbs in my bathroom (now, only 7). Why we need so many lightbulbs in a bathroom, who knows.

But the question is, should I wait until it's sufficiently dark (meaning that more bulbs go out) to change the light bulbs in the bathroom, or should I change the one that went out today and change them one by one? I guess that would also depend on whether the previous owner of my bathroom changed them all at once and I will soon have to "do my business" in the dark or if they changed them one by one because they didn't want to be left in the dark. Ah, the dilemmas of apartment living.

New and Improved!!!

...soon.

I'm contemplating a change to the look of this blog (in a few weeks, after all the madness). If you have any suggestions, or would offer up some help, it would be greatly appreciated!

Will I miss the apocalypse?

Every morning, regardless of how late I am waking up or what other important things I just have to do, I check The New York Times and BBC News... Just in case something catastrophic happened when I was sleeping.

Really, it's an obsession and not healthy. But then again, who said I was sane and healthy? By the way, I've had a stomach ache for a good week now. Maybe I should be more worried about that than the daily news.

How exciting!

I bought the newest book by Ha Jin today and I'm beyond excited. I think that just proves how much of a dork I am and how little it takes for me to get giddy.

And those of you who haven't heard of him, go find his books. They're amazing. Well, I've only read Waiting but I'm very much looking forward to reading War Trash (recently released in paperback).

A free couch that cost me $150

One of my friends is graduating from medical school and she gave me a free couch and matching chair. They're rather old couches, but hell, I'm a student and can't really afford to pay for furniture (or at least not more than $10).

In moving the free couch and matching chair, I managed to get 2 parking tickets. Yes, 2. Not just 1, but 2. Now, what was that again, you may ask? Yes, 2 parking tickets. Those of you who know me may also ask, how do you get 2 parking tickets if you don't own a car? Well, rather easily apparently if one of them is for a rented car and another is for your friend's car (the same friend who gave me the couch) - both of which were parked, illegally of course, in front of my apartment building for a total of 5 minutes.

At the price of $75 apiece (charge: parking in a no stopping zone, which is apparently more serious than parking in a no parking zone - who knew?), I will be paying $150 for the free couch.

Totally uncool

I just have to say that anyone who carries anything on their belt loop is automatically uncool. Really. I just saw a guy walking around with his iPod on his belt loop. Others have their giant cell phones. Come on, people! It's not like it's comfortable to have a giant piece of technology on your belt loop. We all know you're showing off. Thanks for doing so, and keep on walking.

YennieT versus Durian

So I had a bit of a run in with a giant piece of fruit at the grocery store a few days. Now, this was not an piece of fruit, but a durian. For those of you unfamiliar with the durian , it's one big fruit. Now, I tend to think of fruit as rather wimpy, soft, and not very big or scary and if you think the same, then you have never encountered the durian.

Now, enough about the fruit and more about the fight. I was minding my own business in the grocery store, going about my own business when one of my swinging hands (swinging because my basket was heavy and I had to swing to counteract the basket) hit a box of durian. Now, if it hit a box of oranges, no big deal - bruised oranges. But, it was a box of durian - big deal. My fingers had holes in them and then they started to bleed, really bleed. Luckily, being the accident-prone person that I am, I carry bandages in my wallet and bandaged myself up and went on my way. Upon arriving at home, I had to change my bandages and ended up with three on one finger and one on another, freaking out several of my friends when I saw them later.

So, in the end, I lost and the durian won. I still have the scabs to prove it.

C-SPAN

Somehow, I ended up watching about a half hour of C-SPAN yesterday. It was a live broadcast of the hearings in the Senate regarding the nuclear option. Now, as the former political science major that I am, I appreciate C-SPAN every now and then and yesterday was one of those times. I was listening to Senator Schumer from New York and Senator Boxer from California speak and throughout their speeches, they mentioned (countless times) "what the Founders intended" and "Constitutional debates" and such. Now, being ashamed as I am, I wish that I would have paid more attention in high school history because I only knew about half of what they were talking about. And even more so, I realized that I still had no idea what the nuclear option is and why it has such an odd name.

How'd they do that?

Does anyone know how the Star Wars ride at Disneyland works? I was out with friends and that popped into my head. For me, it's always been one of life's greatest mysteries.

I just had to put up a few pictures of all 4 little babies.

Race in Boston

After moving to Boston, I realized just how segregated this city is and how the communities, geographically and socially, fall sharply on racial lines. Add to the decades of historical discrimination two events in the past few weeks that have put race back on the list of hot issues in Boston.

First, there was a report that concluded discrimination against racial minorities was still widely prevalent. Secondly, a ceremony to mark the 60 year anniversary of the end of the Holocaust is protested by white supremacy groups.

What makes Boston so different than other big cities (I'm thinking of San Francisco)? Is it the people? The history? The weather?

Me and Bailey's

So, to reward myself (for what, I have no idea) I decided to buy a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream on Friday. Well, come Friday night, I have nothing to do and I'm dead tired so I open the bottle, pour myselef a generous glass over ice, watch a video on my couch and fall asleep before midnight, happy as a plum. I know one of the first signs of alcoholism is drinking alone, but does this count?

Too young to choose

So, in our country, a 13 year old girl is apparently too young to learn about sex (thanks to President Bush's abstinence only plan) and too young to make decisions on the consequences of her having sex. This is downright appalling. Really. So, we're not going to teach young people how to protect themselves and how to have healthy sexual lives when they are ready to do so yet we expect them to have to deal with all the consequences of having sex (which we did not warn them about because we righteous Americans think that no one is having sex).

I just don't know what to say in response to this. There are so many things wrong with this. The 13-year old girl had sex. She made the decision to have sex (hopefully it was her choice) and yet she can't make the decision on whether to have an abortion. In both instances, it is her body.

What happens if she does have a baby? Can she make the decision on whether to bottle or breast feed? Can she make the decision on whether it's time to potty train? What will this mean for the thousands of 13 year old girls? I mean, either we have to teach them about sex and how to say no until they decide that are ready for its consequences (and to make decisions about those consequences) or we're just going to have to put chastity belts on every kid until they turn 18.

The Rise and Fall of Saigon

It has been 30 years since the fall of Saigon. The images of the last helicopter leaving the roof of the American Embassy in 1975 has always been in my mind, especially after watching the embassy torn down brick by brick during my visit in 1998.

In a wave of celebrations, Vietnam has decided to celebrate the liberation of its country (the day is known as Liberation Day in Vietnam). During this time, I have tried to think of what I would have done in the face of the Vietnam War, if I had been a young student at the time of the war just as I am at the time of the Iraqi War. Would I oppose it as much? Would I think of it as modern imperialism? Would I believe that the Americans (including myself) are just a colonial power in disguise? I really can't say.

However, what I have seen with my eyes is how the Vietnamese people are resilient. They have turned a country that was devastated by an infamous war into one filled with hope. The youth of the country have little connection to the war itself other than through stories from parents and grandparents, much like the youth of our country and their connection to World War I or II. However, the youth have a strong connection to those abroad - which I think will turn out to be the good for the country but bad for the government. The government cannot control everything as easily anymore and the people will no longer allow it.

So, what I see happening is the eventual awakening, of the people and of the government, in Vietnam. I think that it will take another few years and even decades, but there is a slow realization that the Vietnam cannot live in the shadows of the war any longer. The question is whether America can also stop living in the shadows of the war.

99-cent store galore!

So, a 99-cent store opened up a block from my apartment. How excited am I?! Really, I've stepped into a 99-cent store about 3 times in my life, but I'm amazingly excited about this.

Will update when I visit it.

Perpetual singlehood versus marriage

So, I've had to confront my views on relationships and marriage lately because of several things. First, I run into several friends of my ex who insist on speaking about him to me. Does no one know anything? Isn't there an unspoken rule that if you are a friend of someone and you run into their ex, you don't mention that someone? If there isn't one, I feel like there should be.
Secondly, I had to confront the possibility that maybe marriage wouldn't be so bad. No, not marriage to the ex and no, I'm not thinking of getting married anytime in the near future. And yes, I am still enjoying being single. Rather, I met a patient in the hospital who had the most caring and wonderful husband by her side through her whole ordeal in the hospital and with health problems. Their interaction and their adoration of one another made me jealous. I don't care for marriage when I see weddings or when I see people holding hands. It's the real stuff that matters. When you are down, who is there to pick you up?
So, I guess I had to confront my past, in a way, and realize that my future can hold anything. Even marriage.

Long time, no see

I have no idea why I haven't been posting lately. Really, I've been bored out of my mind. I haven't really done anything all exciting yet there's been a lot to comment on in the world. Terri Schiavo died. The Pope has passed. Wolfowitz is head of the World Bank.

And I am home on a Saturday night two weekends in a row.

Right to die, right to live

I was appalled to read the news that Congress had decided to step into the Terry Schiavo case. Not only do I agree with their moralistic quest but I don't think that it is within any scope of Congress' power to intervene on what is a family matter, and at most, a state issue. Come on, isn't Congress there to legislate interstate issues? How does Terry Schiavo, in any way, have to do with other states?

Now, to the issue of whether I think she should be allowed to die. I think that to have someone in a "permanent vegetative state" for more than 15 years is almost cruel. Would anyone want to be in that position? To have a caretaker 24 hours a day, to not be able to enjoy life, not be able to participate in life? I understand that some people may and that others see that life, in all its forms, is too valuable to take away. However, I also believe that for other people, they should be allowed to die with dignity and not be subject to years of living in a "permanent vegetative state."

In the end, it's all about personal volition. If you want to end your life, and are unable to do so, others should be able to help you do so in a humane and dignified way.

New Orleans, here I am!

So, here I am in the deep South and thoroughly enjoying my vacation. There's really not much to see here in New Orleans, but there's plenty of relaxing to do.

Being in the South is rather odd. I've never been further south than Washington DC, so this is an experience in Southern living. First, everyone has a Southern accent. That's just cool. Secondly, everyone is obese - I guess it's too much southern cooking. Thirdly, everyone smokes and it's absolutely disgusting. At the airport, I even saw a woman who was at least 8 months pregnant smoking away.

I wanted to go to school at Tulane, here in New Orleans. Now that I think about it, I have no idea how I could have dealt with living in the South. New Orleans is a city, but not a city in the sense that you have public transportation and a metropolitan area. However much I gripe about Boston, I'd have to admit that I prefer it to New Orleans.

Now, off to explore on my own.

Shortsightedness

Really, how can anyone be against saving the environment? I'm not a huge environmentalist by any measure, but it just seems to make sense to want to save it for future generations and preserve some remnant of nature. I'm just ranting about how the Senate just voted in favor of drilling in the Arctic, and wrote it into the budget.

What is the justification for drilling? Money. We don't want to pay for oil and we want to seem independent of "other nations" (aka the Middle East) on our ever-expanding oil needs. So, instead of reducing demand for oil by investing in alternative energy sources and such, the administration and other politicians have decided that we just need to tap one of the greatest natural treasures in the United States. Can anyone explain to me why we need to destroy nature for the sake of driving SUVs?

Crazy stuff

I feel like I'm going crazy. Or maybe the city of Boston has gone crazy.

* I saw a man, about 4 feet tall, wearing a three piece suit and a baseball hat tonight.
* Last night, playing 9-ball, I managed to hit the 3 in, then try and hit the 5... apparently not realizing that 4 is in between 3 and 5.
* I went to a club last night and upon walking in, realized that ALL the men were dancing like freaks. Really. I know generally, men can't dance, but they were beyond the "bad dancing but I'll take it" limit.

Can't think of anything else. Maybe it is just me.

Reminders

A patient that I had spent time listening to, just listening to, told me how much it had mattered to her. I had not laid a hand on her. I did not find out what was wrong with her. Really, I did nothing "medical" at all. However, she said, very poignantly, that she had woken up that morning feeling very anxious and uncertain about how she was going to make it through the day. Then, after speaking to me, she feels a lot better and is looking forward to the day. She then thanked me more sincerely than I have ever heard anyone speak. She thanked me for listening. People like her are why I decided to go into medicine and every once in awhile, it's good to be reminded of such.

Reminders

A patient that I had spent time listening to, just listening to, told me how much it had mattered to her. I had not laid a hand on her. I did not find out what was wrong with her. Really, I did nothing "medical" at all. However, she said, very poignantly, that she had woken up that morning feeling very anxious and uncertain about how she was going to make it through the day. Then, after speaking to me, she feels a lot better and is looking forward to the day. She then thanked me more sincerely than I have ever heard anyone speak. She thanked me for listening. People like her are why I decided to go into medicine and every once in awhile, it's good to be reminded of such.

New York trip

New York City was fun... for the one day that I was there. Many thanks to Andrew, who generously let me stay with him. And many thanks to everyone else I met up with... it was like a mini high school reunion.

Oh, more pictures are available. Just email me.

Fresh snow and orange gates... how fun!

Just a cool picture of a cool building.

A picture of "The Gates" in Central Park, NYC.

Medical school sucks

So, someone found this site through typing in "medical school sucks." How cool is that? I guess not very cool, but whatever.

Right now, it's sucking because I can't motivate myself to do anything and I just want to forget that I'm in medical school and sleep all the time.

Other things to look forward to

So, Valentine's Day has come and gone and I'm still a bitter, single woman.

However, there are better things on the horizon. First, my friend (and faithful commenter), Eric, is coming to visit me in Boston! How exciting. I love it when people come to visit me and kick me out of a rut, especially when it's not right before exams.

Secondly, I'm going to NYC this weekend, just in time to see The Gates! How exciting. Rather, not all that exciting, but really, my life is rather dull at the moment so crossing the street is exciting to me.

Thirdly, well, I guess there is no thirdly. That's it.

I hate pharmacology

Really. I just stepped out of an exam where on a good 50% of the questions, I had no idea what the question was asking nor did I know what any of the answers were. And yes, I'm barely passing pharmacology (65% is passing and I'm at a 67%).

It was the first exam where I wanted to stand up, rip the test into pieces, throw them over my head, and walk out.

Sick Day

Today was terrible. Well, last night was terrible. I went to bed, barely able to breathe and had to sleep with several pillows under my head (which is a sign of congestive heart failure... just what I need). I woke up in the middle of the night, and stayed awake, because of fevers with chills. Needless to say, I was not feeling well this morning. Also, my shoulders ached like I was carrying a cartful of carrots through the fields all day.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for tomorrow... I need to go into the hospital tomorrow to see patients. Argh. I think medical school is not just bad for your health, it's very bad for your health.

Have to spread the word

I just have to spread the word about an awesome new artist that I have just discovered. Her name is Madeleine Peyroux and she's absolutely amazing. She's going to be in Boston soon and also San Francisco. You'd have to listen to her music to understand, but her music demands attention.

Visit her at www.madeleinepeyroux.com. Tell me what you think.

Pre-Valentine's Day Rant

I'd like to start off the Valentine's season with a rant about men and women. As I was looking around class today, I realized that most of the men in my class (upwards of 90%) were either married, engaged, or seriously committed to someone. On the other hand, I find that the majority of the women (about 70%) were not any of the above.

Why is this so? I have a theory. Men in medical school are seen as attractive to women. They are seen as having earning potential, intelligence, and are goal-oriented. All are admittedly attractive and I can see that. On the other hand, a woman in medical school is intelligent, but likely she won't let you push her around and likely has an opinion on things. [Side note: the women who are married, engaged, or otherwise committed tend to be more of the docile type, at least at my school.] Granted, these generalizations do not hold true for everyone (hence, generalizations), but that's how I see it.

Someone please prove me wrong. Tell me that either you're not afraid of an intelligent woman that wants to put her personal advancement ahead of baking cookies for classrooms. Then, and only then, will I stop telling people I meet that I'm a public health student and start admitting that I'm a medical student. [I have had guys just stop talking after I tell them I'm in medical school.]

State of the Union

So, the state of our union right now just sucks. We are disliked abroad. We are divisive internally. And we have an idiot as our president.

Here are some excerpts from the speech and my response:
* "Environmentally sound energy alternatives" - Yeah, subsidizing the oil industry, invading countries for oil, and not supporting alternative fuel shows just how much you believe in the environment.
* "Preserving the institution of marriage" - It's funny how he ends this and starts a conversation about "the vulnerable in our society" (i.e. unborn children) without realizing that he could also be talking about gays and lesbians.
* Laura Bush being appointed head of some gang-prevention initiative - Oh, come on. Has she ever "been down with the people"?
* HIV/AIDS - Finally, someone is focusing on the fact that it strikes unevenly in terms of race. However, ignoring the fact that it still spreads through SEX (the big 3-letter bad word).

After this, I could not pay attention. It's funny because he did not mention anything about international collaborations. He did mention the "threat of other nations," but nothing on cooperating with others for common goals. Or at least not for a large extent.

And bringing out an Iraqi and grieving parents of a dead soldier is nice and touchy. But what are his long terms plans for peace in Iraq? How come soldiers are being forced to extend their stay and paid so little for their great sacrifice?

Euthanasia

Warning: don't read this post if you have not seen Million Dollar Baby. By the way, if you haven't seen it, go see it. It's wonderful. (Also, go see Hotel Rwanda. It will move you, disgust you, and ultimately scare you.)

So, just as I had expected when I saw the movie, people are protesting the last half of Million Dollar Baby. Can it be any more predictable that those against euthanasia/assisted suicide take a prominent film and attack it? Personally, I thought that the film presented such a strong argument for assisted suicide that groups and individuals opposed to it should speak up.

My personal stance on assisted suicide, if you haven't figured it out yet, is that if a person is mentally competent to decide that they want to die, but physically incapable to do so, they should be granted their wish in as humane a manner as possible. Of course, this is one of the longest standing debates in our country's history. Also, it's especially relevant to myself because I'm a future physician. I even wrote on it as part of my Foreign Service Officer exam. Needless to say, I failed that time (but passed my second time!).

I understand the religious arguments against it and if you are religious, then it's hard to compromise the two (but not impossible). However, on a human level, how can you watch someone suffer for months or years on end? I have seen several people, patients and friends, suffer from terminal illnesses. After seeing their faces and their despair, I see the human argument for assisted suicide. I challenge anyone who disagrees with me to defend their side after they have seen a loved one suffer from a terminal illness without the ability to die with dignity.

A lot of people will disagree with me, and I welcome their disagreement. This is a debate that will not be settled anytime soon and will probably be increasingly controversial as medical technology is able to keep people alive longer without an improving their quality of life.

Want more pictures?

Just email me and I can send you the link to the album.

There's a fire hydrant somewhere under there.

This is an alleyway behind my apartment at night. It's kind of spooky and beautiful at the same time. It's hard to tell, but the wind was really blowing and the snow was everywhere.

A newspaper bin and parking meter, totally useless because the bin is empty and parking is not allowed on the streets. Oh, and they're covered in snow.

I love the snow!

I love how the snow makes everything wonderful, such as school. Well, that's inaccurate. It's the lack of school because of the snow that makes things wonderful. And really, it's what every kid hopes for because I had two tests today.

And hilarity still abounds because people still insist on driving around and taking shortcuts - hence getting stuck in alleyways that still have several inches of snow and ice on it. Really, you'd think Bostonians would know better.

Hilarity abounds!

I love the snow. I think that it's hilarious. I just checked live cameras at major highways in Boston and one of them was just grayish. I didn't know whether it's because there is no visibility due to the blizzard or if the camera wasn't working.

Last night, I could hear countless tires spinning fruitlessly outside of my apartment building. It was hilarious, only because I wasn't the driver. Just a few minutes ago, there was a car that was trying to turn, but the snowdrifts are so high, it's useless. Luckily, some people were willing to help push. It was just funny, watching from my warm room.

But the snow is absolutely beautiful. Maybe it's because I can stay in the whole day (though I was planning on going to the library to get some work done). Maybe it's because I have a warm apartment. But either way, it's really quite amazing out there.

Boston sucks

So, I think Boston sucks for many reasons.

First, it has managed to go from 10 degrees this afternoon to 26 degrees at midnight. How does this happen? Who ever knew that a blizzard can RAISE temperatures?

Second, giving a tour of Boston in 10 degree weather is no fun. My cousin from China was here and let's just say that I wanted to finish the tour much sooner than she was willing to walk.

Third, medical school sucks. Granted, I do like it for the most part, but when I have two exams on Monday and I feel desperately behind, it sucks.

That's it for now. 6 inches of snow on my windowsill so far,. We'll see how much I'll get by the morning.

Come on, I can take it

I've been desperately trying to motivate myself to study. I'm 3 weeks into school and just a few days ago, I was on lecture 1. Yes, the first lecture.

So, what I'm saying is, motivation needs to hit me in the head. Really, I can take it. I need it.

Pissed

So, this Monday had to be one of the worst days that I've ever had this year. Yes, I've already had a "worst day of the year" and it's only the second week of said year.

To explain further, my day started to turn at 3 am, when my neighbor decides to have people over and smoke up a storm. How does this affect me? My bedroom wall (the wall where the head of my bed lays) is his living room wall. Additionally, the wall and ceiling aren't totally sealed together, leaving a small gap - but just large enough for cigarette smoke to creep through and leave me gasping for my breath. In a desperate measure, I decide to appeal to his human side and ask him politely to not smoke for the night. I go over to his apartment and knock on his door until someone answers, 5 minutes later. His friend answers, I ask for him, she says, "she's asleep" (which I know is a f*cking lie because I hear the damn fool talking through the wall in my room. How stupid does he think I am?). Then, I just break down. I start crying in front of her and then she says that they won't smoke for the night. Regardless, my room stinks of cigarette smoke and I hear my "sleeping" neighbor talking and laughing in his apartment. Oh, and I decide to write a letter to my landlord, to document the problem and my request for a solution, to fix it.

So, for the second Sunday in a row (read previous post), I slept on my couch - in my own apartment.

Needless to say, I was very angry that my sleep was disrupted and that I did not even get to sleep on my own bed. Then, as I'm going down the elevator in my apartment, a woman enters on the 2nd floor and, as I'm standing at the exit door (there are two doors in my elevator, one to go in, one to go out), she squeezes between me and the exit door. If having my personal space invaded at 8 am isn't enough, she proceeds to stare at me.

By this time, I cannot handle people. Really. I'm pissed. I don't want to talk to anyone. If anyone gets in my way, I'm rolling over them.

I get to class and because I'm late, I'm stuck sitting on the floor in the back of the auditorium. I get stuck sitting next to this girl in my class who sleeps through the entire FOUR HOURS OF LECTURES - including the breaks! Not only that, she curls up on the floor, takes off her shoes, and snores. Loudly. I'm about to throw my books at her when my friends convince me to squeeze into a real seat into the lecture hall.

Later in the afternoon, I finally have made an appointment to see a doctor about my cough. Well, after waiting in the waiting room for one hour feeling miserable, I see her. After two minutes, she tells me I have bronchitis (which is usually found in smokers - gee, I wonder how that would happen), gives me a prescription for antibiotics and another for codeine, and sends me on my merry way. At CVS, I hand off my prescription and proceed to wait another 40 minutes for my prescription (this is after they forgot part of it). So, I go home and take the codeine and think it's great. No coughing. I take a second dose before I go to bed at 11:30 and by 12:30, I wake up with nausea and dizziness - and paranoia. I was all skittish and couldn't fall asleep until I refused to move any muscle in my body and slept with the light on.

So, that was my manic Monday. Now, it's Wednesday and my cough is back, I'm afraid of codeine, and I found out my neighbor is moving out (not because of me - but his friend is moving in so I don't know whether to be ecstatic or afraid).

It's been awhile

So, I've been a bit of a slacker in my posting, but I've also been very busy. But the truth is, that there's not a lot to write about. My life during finals was just that... finals. I did not go out. I did not sleep. I did not cook. I did not eat. It was loads of fun.

But I went back to California and then up to Seattle for some down time, which was very nice. I'm back in Boston now... and I think it's making me sick. Literally. My neighbor smokes up a storm, especially when entertaining guests (at 4 am on a Sunday night/Monday morning). So, for the second time since moving into my apartment 4 months ago, I have had to sleep on my couch. Now, this is a bit tougher than one would think, as I just bought a giant down comforter and my couch is rather small. It was a battle between me being on the couch and my blanket. In addition to that, my room smells like someone has been smoking a pack of cigarettes in it. Now, you may ask why my neighbor's smoke and noise gets to me. It's because my wall does not reach all the way up to my ceiling - there is a itty bitty little gap, but just enough to make it seem as though my neighbor is my roommate.

So, now I'm sick in my own apartment.